Patience...The Lord has been trying to teach me this since the day I was born...it means "calm endurance." I definitely have the endurance...however, I am severely lacking in the Department of Serenity...(I'm always falling short). Work is work and my social life is still abysmal...As of late I have become incredibly desperate to hang out with people...This generally leaves me at a bar drinking several beers and engaging in hours of mind-numbing conversation...The dialogue revolves around what we were in high school and then comes to a close when we realize what we're not...It's BLISSFUL...the beers are a consolation prize...I would like a deep meaningful connection with another human being, yet I'll settle for this Jug O' Fermented Sugar...Unfortunately, waking up the next day is excruciating...Not because there is a hang over, but simply because it is a new day...Each day seems to be very problematic...I don't know how to alleviate the burden of rising to partake in my daily ritual...However, a solution would be greatly appreciated...
The work scene...I am confident that these pathologists need a refresher course on colors and numbers...Maybe a visit to a kindergarten classroom would suffice..."Yeah doc, those are GREEN membranes (a result of meconium), you will need to put that placenta through for microscopic evaluation." "No...squeeze the cord again...see right there...there's THREE vessels...that's a normal umbilical cord...now let's move on..." Who would have thought that colors and numbers could be so helpful in a gross room? I have to admit my expertise on these matters is flattering...until I realize they are just COLORS and NUMBERS...
Oh How I Love the Lab!!
Last week was pretty cool...we had a special on Prosthetic Penis'...I had never seen one before, but we were blessed with three...two in one day...They were little white plastic tubes complete with a pump...from what I hear the pump remains on the exterior of the male's body...Apparently a man can have a prostatectomy, therefore, leaving him incapable of arousal...(Viagra and the like are meant for men that would like to stay erect longer...they have the capacity it's merely an enhancer). I know all of you remember the Reebok Pump...This pump was very similar...In fact I think it might have been in the shape of a basketball...Maybe the word Reebok was etched into the plastic, perhaps I hadn't noticed?! If I worked for Reebok in the marketing and sales department I imagine I would make a strong case for why we a) needed to bring back the Reebok pump and b) should get into the prosthetic penis business...I can see it now...
Kobe Bryant is flying through the air (or for you Ohioans Lebron James)...He's effortlessly weaving in between defenders and recklessly spinning towards the basket...(You can envision this, he's a bad ass and continues to dominate his opponents on the court). While the images are being displayed on the screen a voice can be heard, "Have you ever had the desire to work your magic on the court, but never had the right equipment?" Here we see our basketball star bend down to pump up his shoe...make sure to get a close up of those high tops...Next scene: the basketball star is walking into the bedroom where a beautiful woman is awaiting his arrival...There she stands seductively next to the bed post in a negligee..."Have you ever had the desire to work your magic off the court, but NEVER had the RIGHT equipment." Our star athelete then warmly embraces our sexy bombshell and smiles into the camera. He then states, "I like to work my magic BOTH on and off the court." The scene fades out with the Reebok Logo shining brightly against the black canvas. A voice comes over stating, "Reebok, are you playing with the right equipment?"
5 Comments:
seriously now, all you talk about is beer and penises
wow. you thought WAY too much about that pump!
--kelli
i don't know you... but i thought that was hilarious. :)
molly.
Eddie, thanks for making me laugh today...even though I NEVER SEE YOU ANYMORE! (thanks a lot for moving away. I appreciate it.)
Move to Cardiff (Wales), there are people here who like you and will hang out with you when you are bored. There is also a med school and lots of hospitals to look at icky things in.
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