Eddie Walker

I just went to Barnes & Noble...I was trying to help a friend find some information on graduate schools...While in the reference section I couldn't resist the urge to pick up some books on Med. Schools...Consequently, I am a little depressed and discouraged...this is part of the wax & wane...Why can't I be faithful to my Father in Heaven...Knowing that He will prevail...and that His will is good and perfect...(Again, I am wrestling with the ability to remain at peace)...Father forgive me...

posted by Unknown @ 3:19 PM 0 comments

So...I have been thinking about this follower of Jesus thing...It seems to me that there are three major components that will encompass who He wants me to be...Love, joy, and peace...I find myself having some trouble with the love aspect at times, however, I think that this one comes most "naturally." It's really the joy and peace that I struggle with the most. I have been praying everyday that I never forget how pivotal the Lord is in my life EVERY DAY!!!!

It's the onset of a listless malaise, through the mindless repetition, and lack of perspective that aids in my forgetfulness in regards to His faithfulness. It's really quite annoying...why can't I be perfect?! I have found myself over the last few years being incredibly discontent...I then default to eidolons...Envisioning myself as a musician performing before the multitudes...My sweet melodies nestle themselves in the abandoned auricular dormitories of my fans...This is one of my many daydreams...My vocation in these woolgathering escapades vary...Sometimes I'm a writer or a world renowned physician or a great father, husband, son, or athlete...Nevertheless, I am not embracing my vocation at the current moment...whatever that vocation may be...maybe my vocation right now is that of a wannabe (close cousin of the Wallabee)...I have been having great difficult establishing what my role is within the Kingdom of God...This has been very troubling and I have had zero success in gaining clarity.

On to less spiritual things that don't exhaust me...ya' know, the gravity of life can really weigh you down...do you like that? I came up with it all on my own. (My fingers were taking dictation from the chick-pea sized mass rattling around within its carapace when the words leapt on to the page...unfortunately this carapace resides on my shoulders, a cumbersome way to carry things. I guess that's really debatable, some would say the carapace resides on my backside...I am sure these same individuals would argue that my carapace is full as well...full of shit). Though I am sure someone else has said it in some alternate reality, an alternative to my reality anyway. I'll turn the phrase, "Don't let the gravity of life weigh you down," into a shirt and then a bumper sticker or vice versa. At least I should, but I am a little too lazy and I would hate to use up my 15 min. of fame on that.

I just finished another book since I have been here in Cali. Now that the Olympics are over I am shying away from the torture box that sits idly against the wall...like a Siren it encourages me to take a seat by the wall its opposite and behave in a similar fashion...The book was Stephen King's, On Writing. This was quite humorous and helpful...I felt it necessary to read this book with the hopes that it would inspire me to finish my essays for Med. School...Hopefully the last of these secondaries will be better than the previous 13. I just hope that one of these secondaries is smiled upon by an Admissions Committee...The moral of the story...read Stephen King's book if you want to improve your writing and be entertained simultaneously...I wanted to share this poem (at least that's how I read it) as well...

Who should not revere you,
O King of the nations?
This is your due.
Among all the wise men of the nations
and in all their kingdoms,
there is no one like you.

Jeremiah 10:7

posted by Unknown @ 11:19 AM 0 comments

This is me and the American girl...it's not the greatest of pic's but I'll deal...this was taken on June 3rd...if anyone else has pics they want to send me...please feel free...I am enjoying this...A little knowledge is very dangerous...

posted by Unknown @ 3:19 PM 2 comments

I just learned how to attach pictures to my blog...this one is pretty awesome... 

posted by Unknown @ 3:13 PM 0 comments

Do dreams mean anything anymore? I mean, Biblically speaking dreams were very important. God chose to speak to His people through dreams...these dreams were rich with symbolism...Lately I have been having ridiculous dreams...they are somewhere between an early Alfred Hithcock flick and one of Meg Ryan's many romantic comedies...They are twisted, I am generally making out with someone...sometimes someone I know, have known, or some figment of my imagination...These dreams are incredibly vivid...many times one of my old buddies makes a cameo appearance as I am walking through some stadium with my new girlfriend...In the middle of this stroll I decide to catch up on old times with my former friend...Somewhere in the midst of a conversation or swappin' spit I start to emerge to the surface of reality...it's like the time a child first decides to swim across the length of the pool while remaining underwater...only to discover that they are expending more oxygen than required for the journey...a luke-warm sensation in the chest becomes an insatiable fire...As the child breaches the water -Gasp!-...However, as I cross-over from my delightfully eerie dream world to my incredibly mundane reality I am bewildered by the images that were "randomly" encountered (I used quotations because I am not sure if they are random or meaningful)...Like a slide reel that has been dropped and in haste the subsequent replacement of the slides was completed carelessly...so that the once purposeful sequence has been altered to display an awkward rendition of seemingly disconnected events...Anyways, let me know if you have similar issues...

posted by Unknown @ 7:12 PM 0 comments

I just finished 12 and 13...these things are sucking the life out of me...I am glad that the Lord has blessed me with all of this time to complete these applications...However, I am still willing to pay someone a hefty sum to finish the last 7...(Deneese?)I have most of the essays started or notes that might be useful in aiding the brave individual...I feel like a marathon runner on the last 6 mile leg...muscles tightening...sweat flowing like a river through the crevices of my skin...gravity beckons the sodium chloride laden water swiftly down my rigid frame, clearly defining the deep imperfections that have been etched into my integument by stress and age (Phil...I don't care what you say I still look like a teenager)...My mind clouded with doubt...Struggling to prod on...Maybe that's a little overdramatic, but this sucks...If you have tried to get a hold of me and I haven't replied, it's because I am consumed with this crap...Ummm...other than that...Nothing's new...Saw a stupid movie on Sunday...House of Sand and Fog...Great Directing, good acting, moronic plot...By the way, thanks for all of your prayers concerning this Med. School thing...Another praise...I just received a phone call from Human Resources at Palomar...I will be making a few cents more than I made last time I was there...translation: I'm rich...

posted by Unknown @ 12:29 PM 2 comments

The purple, fuscia, and pink, with little white accents interspersed within the beautiful smear residing over the calm dark entity...A sliver in the sky, as if the hand and the canvas were indistinguishable from one another, yet the beaming white beacon called attention to the viewer... like a french-tipped nail...The sky last night was gorgeous...I had the opportunity to hang out with my good buddy Nubie in the jacuzzi last night and this was the art work that we were able to witness...It was a terrific view and it was nice to see the Pacific again...I am still not working, which sucks, but I have finished 9 secondary applications to date...I am very excited to say that...Hopefully I want have to do more than another 10...yet funds are being depleted rapidly when each application is between $75 and $100. (For some reason the schools like nice round numbers so the application cost is typically $100). Some friends from college finally stumbled into the world of the blog. I'll make sure I post a link on here for them. Oceanside is great...Now that I live here, I will never have to discuss where I live in relation to where the Pacific is...It's pretty self-evident, is it not?...O---C-E-A-N---S-I---D-E. I think that I am completing my journey in becoming a perambulant...I rode the bus a couple days ago into Esco (that's Escondido for all you Ohioans) on Wednesday...I left the house at 6:45 a.m. and made it to Esco. by 10:20 a.m. It's normally a 20 min. drive...That's okay...I feel more and more like an Urban kid...and I think that this is all very helpful in developing a spirit of humility...Maybe one day I will become a curbside prophet too...hmmm.....Anyways, here's Nae's blog, she's an awesome girl, and here's Steven's ..(he's cool too)

posted by Unknown @ 9:24 AM 3 comments

I'm back...I had a two hour delay in Denver, but I made it safely...Since I have been back it's been crazy...I read this book, Who Moved My Cheese? It was pretty good...I don't know what else to say about that until I fully process it...It talks about change and how to adjust and the perspective that one should take in light of change. I suppose it relates to my situation out here concerning both church and old friends. Hopefully I can make the adjustments needed and allow God to fill me with joy at the same time. I am not sure what to expect from my time out here but we'll see what He does. Still haven't been to the beach yet, I hope to get out there soon. I had the best Mexican food on Sat. at El Mexicano Taco Shop (my favorite red barn). "And good things will come about...I'm wishin' upon your rhythm now..."

posted by Unknown @ 7:21 PM 1 comments

Craziness...my time in Ohio has been amazing...The two most important things learned: 1) your faith community is a family, the church is a family, and despite any problems, differences, etc. you are committed to that group of people 2) effective communication is paramount...in order to maintain healthy relationships that will thrive this is essential. I am so glad I moved to Columbus, I have an extended family here that I will miss greatly...Tonight was awesome...I went to the Cincinnati Reds game...Ken Griffey Jr. didn't play (so sad)...But my American girl was there, as well as Paul, and Pax...The San Diego Padres crushed Cinci so that was fun to watch...Erin is awesome...She consistently amazes me, I am confident that we'll keep in touch and that God will move in and through her...I hope and pray that our relationship will grow...Yet I hope that through it all I will maintain a level head...I can't afford to continue to fall for girls in Ohio when I live in Cali...I learned from experience last time that that's not helpful...I am up right now at 3:40 in the morning... This is ridiculous, but I get anxiety sickness if I try to sleep the night before I need to be some place early...I guess staying up all night is cool?! (Punctuation is so overrated, especially when you don't know how to use it) That reminds me, Skyline Chili is overrated as well...To all my Ohioan cohorts, thanks for all the love..."I'll remember where the love is found." HOLLA, HOLLA!!!

posted by Unknown @ 12:30 AM 2 comments

Sad day...My favorite Bible...the one I have had since I was 13 had to be thrown out...I had left it next to the chimney on the 3rd floor and unbeknownst to me moisture had seeped its way into the Word...I hadn't been using this Bible because the binding was already busted...but today when packing I picked it up to find mold all over the back and within the binding...I could've cried...

posted by Unknown @ 10:46 AM 0 comments

This week has been so cool...My buddy Paul and I have been busy maximizing the amount of fun that we can squeeze out of the twenty-four hour day...Thank goodness twenty-four hour days come in plastic squeezable containers...Friday we went to the golf range...I still can't figure out why I can hit a pitching wedge farther than my driver, nevertheless, Sunday was great as well...My friends at SBUX threw a going away party for me...They each told some great stories...I received a tie for my possible interviews, and a book about Tibet...Then my buddy Pax and I were able to sing a Jason Mraz song that reminds me of my time here in Ohio and all of the people that I have met...One of my coworkers was crying at the end of the evening...I am not sure if she was overwhelmed by the fact that I am leaving or if she was thankful that I stopped singing. Yesterday was the end all...I flew for the first time...Clarification: I was the pilot...Paul and I were each able to fly for about an hour...He flew out of CMH to Urbana...I flew from Urbana back to CMH...We were able to take off and land...It was awesome...I've obviously flown before, however, I was never the pilot...Viewing the world as a large patchwork quilt stitched together with the highways and byways of Central Ohio...I now have a new pick up line..."Oh, don't worry about the bill...I'll take care of it...Oh, wait...This isn't my wallet, this is my PILOT LOG BOOK." We'll see if it works. I could not get this song out of my head as we were flying yesterday, "I'm leaving your town again, over the quilt your spinnin', I'm up in the air and I can see your house from here, If the plane goes down I'll remember where the love is found." So this Friday Paul and I are going to the Cincinnati Reds game where I hope to see Ken Griffey Jr. play...I am so excited... I will also see my American girl on Friday...she's going to the game with us...kinda crazy 'cause I thought that I wasn't going to see her again...It'll be fun...She's fun to hang out with regardless of the fact that nothing will come of it..."Somethin' about the way you make me laugh makes me feel like a child...after an afternoon with you, And your rich brown eyes your lips and your dark hair." That's it until Friday when I'll have something to say about the game...Until then...HOLLA, HOLLA!!!

posted by Unknown @ 7:26 AM 1 comments

Just a couple of things...I went to Chicago this weekend...it was amazing...why doesn't eveyone that lives in the Midwest live in Chicago? It was amazing...the city was beautiful and the food was terrific...I loved every second of it...So a quick question... I have been told the same thing by two people who don't know each other...They said that I need to work harder at pursuing a relationship with someone if I want to get married...Is this possible? Does it just happen? Can you work at finding someone? I don't know what to believe...(keep in mind that both of these individuals are followers of Jesus)...Can you work hard at something when there is nothing of interest to catch your eye? I don't know....

posted by Unknown @ 3:34 PM 6 comments